An open letter to the drivers of New Fallujah.

Dear Sir or Madam:

When it snows, the roads get a bit slippery. As a long-time resident of this fair state, I would think, nay hope, that you have figured that out by now. It behooves you to leave a few extra minutes to get to work so you're not racing along slippery roads, thereby risking an accident which makes the rest of us late for work. Or slamming on your brakes at the slightest provocation, causing people to veer off the road (or worse) to avoid hitting your clueless butt.

Let's also discuss the types of vehicles you drive. If your car doesn't run consistently, please don't drive it. This is specifically for the white trash, inconsiderate idiot who decided it was a good idea to take his/her old, busted van out on this snowy, cold morning. Said busted van broke down at a major intersection causing all of us to sit behind your moronic self for a half hour. Causing all of us to be late for work.

Simply put, try to put on your common sense pants before you leave your house. When it snows you don't need to speed. You don't need to ride three inches from the bumper in front of you - you know, the bumper of the driver who *is* wearing their common sense pants and isn't speeding, thereby avoiding accidents - because they aren't going to go any faster. You are freaking them out, because if they have to slam on their brakes to avoid rear-ending the jerk in front of them, you will rear-end THEM.

Believe it or not, there are other people on the road besides you who are trying to get somewhere and are sick to death of playing Frogger every morning to avoid dangerous simpletons like yourself.

Thank you, that is all.
DP