Pinko Lemming Reflects on Recent "Sky Terror!@!"

So, like, I got deported from Canada and am back crashing at my evil, capitalist twin's pad for a few days.

I was watching CNN last night and I was absolutely shocked at the terrible stories! (After, of course, I recovered from my initial surprise that CNN should be trying so hard to sensationalize a story --I thought I was watching FoxNews on steroids...I mean, they were acting like this was a really, really big deal!) Yet, I will say that this recent "Sky Terrrroooorrrr!" as CNN calls it, is like, totally disturbing!

I mean, terrorists still want to kill us? Don't they realize that Bush will only be in office for two more years? Why do they still want to kill us?

(And why was yesterday the first we heard of this latest plot and the efforts we were taking to stop it? I'm really disappointed in the Times.)

With no attacks here since 9/11, I thought the threat had subsided. After all, our evil country deserved what we got; it was a wake-up call for us to stop all of our obtrusive foreign policies. Clearly, the Islamic freedom fighters had sent us a message. What we should now do is pull all of our troops home from the middle east, tell Israel to stop destroying the beautiful Lebanese countryside, and worry about our own domestic problems. And I really thought we were headed in the right direction --my hopes were so high after that glorious Connecticut primary!

Of course, it's been obvious these past years that Bush has been exaggerating the threat from terrorists. It's all a political ploy to keep his approval ratings up. (which isn't working! Ha!) And so he can justifty all of his civil rights abuses in the name of "protecting us."

But now that this plot to kill thousands of people on airlines has been discovered, I'm a little nervous. What made no sense to me is that this plot to blow up airplanes heading over the ocean to America was actually first concocted 15 years ago --only it was 10 or so flights coming from Asia. Why did the terrorists want to kill us then? Bush wasn't even president! It's just all so confusing.

And now when I fly, I can't even carry on my hemp extract shampoo (that I use regularly every three weeks), beeswax, or hemp seed perfume! Like, what am I supposed to do?

Still, we have to be careful not to overreact. True, thousands of people could have died, but that doesn't mean we can jump to any conclusions. We must be mindful of violating any civil rights, such as the right of those poor American Muslims to carry multiple disposable cell phones, maps of Wall Mart locations, and flight instructions arrested in Ohio earlier this week. I'm sure it's just because they have Arabic names that they were targeted, as their families say. We just have to remember our priorities.