Funniest headline of the day.

The award for funniest headline of the day goes to CNN for this gem (thanks to Fark.com):

Dems offer National Security Platform.

The referring headline at Fark is snort-worthy all by itself: Democrats attack Republicans as having no National Security plan. Release plan with no details which is attacked by Republicans. American public seen banging head against a table.

I couldn't have come up with a better synopsis of the article myself.

"We are uniting behind a national security agenda that is tough and smart, an agenda that will provide the real security President Bush has promised but failed to deliver," Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid, D-Nevada, said.

Oooh! Cool! It's "tough" AND "smart"! Oh, and Dingy, m'boy? We haven't been attacked again in 5 years. Five. Years. If that ain't "security" I don't know what is.

His counterpart in the House, Rep. Nancy Pelosi, D-California, said Democrats were providing a fresh strategy -- "one that is strong and smart, which understands the challenges America faces in a post 9/11 world, and one that demonstrates that Democrats are the party of real national security."

Oh dear, I just sprayed Fresca all over my laptop. If the Dems actually think, in their black little heart of hearts that they "understand the challenges" of a "post 9/11 world", I will eat my shoes. I'll eat both of them if they honestly think America is buying this latest load of guano.

Indeed, the Democratic statement lacks specific details of a plan to capture bin Laden, the al Qaeda chief who has evaded U.S. forces in the more than four years since the September 11, 2001, terrorist attacks. But Democrats suggest they will double the number of special forces and add more spies to increase the chances of finding al Qaeda's elusive leader.

I see. So we need to "redeploy" our troops currently IN Iraq and Afghanistan, but screw over those poor special forces guys and DOUBLE their presence. Shoot, why don't they just send Joe Wilson back over there. He can come back after a month-long vacation and notify us all that Bin Laden doesn't exist.

Better yet, let's just sic Helen Thomas on them to get more details. She's probably unable to sleep at night knowing that there are missing details that need to be FOUND, dammit! Oh wait, that's only if it's a Republican plan. Nevermind.

Republicans have sought to use that division to their own political advantage, claiming that Democrats simply attack the president and his fellow Republicans without presenting proposals of their own.

And this is an errant "claim"...how, again?

All I can hear right now is Lurch's voice saying "I...have a PLAAAAN...."
I need to go listen to Minnie Ripperton to get the awful, awful sound out of my head.