Thursday, April 12

Global Cooling CRISIS

We are to the point where if we do not do something NOW, this global cooling crisis will have dramatic and potentially catastrophic effects!

It was so cold down south last week...

In South Carolina, at least 90 percent of the peach crop was destroyed and officials said Wednesday they would seek federal aid.

"This is comparable to a hurricane," Agriculture Commissioner Hugh Weathers said of the damage to the state's $40 million-a-year industry. "Growers say we'll be fortunate to get 10 percent of a crop.

They believe Georgia has also lost half their peach crop. (no Georgia peaches! Say it ain't so!) Before long the oceans will start receeding as more water is frozen in the polar ice caps - the consensus among qualified scientists is by at least 100 feet- and beachfront property up and down the coasts will drop significantly in value, creating an economic crisis, in addition to the other deathly consequences of global cooling.

"Since we've been keeping records for at least 150 years now of precipitation, hurricanes in North America, temperatures, etc. we clearly have definitive knowledge as to what the earth's climate will be like 40 years from now if people don't start driving more SUVs and pickups," leading environmental scientist, John Smith, told Conservababes. "There really is no debate - the temperatures have been colder in the last two months. We need to move beyond this debate and do something to fix the problem before we all freeze to death and beachfront property values plummet."

Smith declined to comment about the inability for weather forecasters to accurately predict tomorrow's weather, but assured us that there is no disputing the inevitable affects of global cooling if humans don't start exhaling more, chopping down more trees, and driving SUVs.

For those who cannot afford SUVs due to rising gas prices, live in a city and don't require a car, or suffer from shortness of breath, Smith has told us they can purchase oxygen offsets to help counter the global cooling phenomenon.

"For every oxygen offset you purchase, we will chop down seven trees," Smith says. "It really is the best way to help. We all should be doing something."

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